- I am Personality Type: INFJ.
- I am Introverted to the 1000th power.
- I am Empathic.
I said this to say: I am EXTREMELY protective of my space and energy.
Before I could define these things about myself, I had no idea how to explain the reason why I was so protective. All I knew was:
- Peopling” was exhausting.
- I needed personal time & space like I needed air.
- I repelled (and adamantly avoided) bad energy.
Now defined, I am more comfortable, confident, and much less apologetic for it.
Y’all! I was “so sorry” for years. One of the greatest causes of my anxiety was having to explain those moments when I needed to isolate myself and be reclusive. Having to explain why I was declining invitations. Why I wasn’t answering phone calls. Why I was acting “funny”. Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada. (Yawn — I just got exhausted thinking about it.)
So, you know as an Empath, of course I could just feel the irritation, disappointment, offense, and concern of my loved ones when I randomly decided to “go ghost”.
And to be 100, I actually understand their points of view! But, I will tell you that the ones who understand me, do not judge me, & love me just as much when I am away (as they do when I am easily accessible), are the lights of my life.
Nevertheless, there were many people that wrote me off for this “shadiness”. Possibly, they found my behavior unstable or unreliable. Possibly, they were completely self absorbed & just simply upset that I was not available at their constant disposal. For whatever reason, I can fully appreciate & respect their release. Their energies were usually heavy, oppressing, and depressing, anyway.
But the truth of the matter is: You are responsible for protecting your own psyche. Your own space. Your own energy. Self care is not selfish.
I repeat: Self care is not selfish.
As people who are purposed to share light, we especially have to protect these things because there are others that have been predesigned & predestined by our enemy to dim our light, drain our energy, and attack our psyche.
Warsan Shire said: “Light attracts light. But, sometimes your light attracts moths and your warmth attracts parasites. Protect your space and energy.”
This was a very liberating quote for me. It gave me…permission! I felt empowered to say “No”. To not answer my phone, emails, or texts. To not offer excuses or explanations. To be misunderstood. To decline invitations without guilt. It gave me permission to take care of myself, first.
Taking care of yourself first is not only okay… it’s necessary.
You are unique. You have something inside of you that the world needs. But, you definitely have to nurture and care for yourself in order to deliver that “something” purely, wholeheartedly, and effectively.
Modify whatever you need to modify to find peace. People that love you…want peace for you. People that don’t want peace for you…are likely the moths and parasites of your life.
Love you all to life!
Love Meg, Xo